Christmas Through Your Eyes

Christmas Through Your Eyes

It’s been three months now since you went home.  If you would have ask me six months ago, I’d have assured anyone that I couldn’t make it without you.  Yours was the first face I ever saw, the first voice I ever heard and the first arms that ever held me. You were the one that taught me about life, about laughter and most of all about JESUS. You were my mother, my teacher, my confidant and my best friend. Live the rest of my life without you....no, not possible.

I know the Bible teaches us that we don’t grieve as the world grieves who have no hope and my mind believed but my heart wasn’t sure.  I knew that the Bible promised that GOD’s grace was sufficient and HIS peace was unlike the peace of the world and again my mind believed while my heart cried out for proof. And then you took your last breath, and shed the shackles of earth and flew into your SAVIOR’s arms and my heart knew. My heart knew GOD’s Word was true and HIS promises enough.  My LORD became my COMFORTER, my PRINCE OF PEACE and my HOPE OF THE AGES.

But then came the holidays.  The first ones since you left.  Thanksgiving....your favorite day and a day we had shared for 53 years. A day we had made a tradition of seeing how much food we could cook, how many people we could crowd around the table and how big a mess we could make. Could I possibly get through Thanksgiving without you? Again, my heart said no and my FATHER said “trust ME”. Was it the same, no, how could it be?  Was it good?  Absolutely! With lots of food, close family, a lifetime full of memories and even more laughter we got through the day and when I remember Thanksgiving of 2012, it will be with a smile.

And now Christmas time is here.  With sparkling trees, beloved Christmas carols playing and memories of past Christmas’ crowding in to my every conscience moment.  Memories of a wide eyed little girl, clutching your hand and staring in wonder at the animated store windows.  Memories of early Christmas morning trips to grandma’s house.  Memories of the family gathering at church during midnight mass on Christmas eve.  Then for the past ten years since dad went home we traded places.  I was the one handing out surprises to you.  A surprise every day from December 1st through the 24th.  Little surprises like a plate of cookies and big ones like an impromptu trip to Savannah. And how you loved them! You were like a little girl waking up at midnight to see what was in store for you that day. 

So, the holiday season is upon us and everything I’ve known has changed.  And on top of that I have been facing some physical challenges.  The energy I’ve always taken for granted is gone and I find sometimes that it’s all I can do to get through the day.  But when we are weak, GOD’s strength is made perfect! When I don’t have the power HE supplies all my needs and during this “down time” I’m finding HIM opening my eyes to so many new insights.  I was feeling so sorry for all the things you would miss this year... ..... did I really say that?  Did I really think that? Really?  Seriously? The things YOU would miss? I’m sure that you and dad and the angels got quite a laugh out of that. You are spending Christmas with your sweetheart for the first time in ten years. You’re with your mother and father for the first time in many, many years. But all of this pales in comparison to the celebration you are experiencing for the very first time. While we know the reason for the season....you are in the presence of the Reason for the Season! While we see through a veil you are seeing JESUS CHRIST in all HIS glory! While we feel joy in celebrating HIS birthday, you are sharing the celebration with HIM! The Bible tells us that eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what awaits us but you have experienced it all and will continue to experience it all. Oh, how I wish I could see Christmas through your eyes. 

But what will we be doing this year?  Well, Christmas will definitely not be the same without you and we realize how futile it would be to try to pretend it is. Your silly little elf has found a new home with Lesa and has found himself in all kinds of mischief such as eating the chocolate ice cream out of the freezer to the delight of the grandboys (and me)! Willie Nelson’s Pretty Paper either brings a smile (or a tear) rather then the gagging reflex of past years :). Christmas shopping won’t be the same without our every 30 minute Starbucks stop. Yes, it will be different. Will it be good? We’re still celebrating the birth of the SAVIOR. We’re still surrounded by loving family and friends. There is still light and beauty all around us and we know that one day soon, we’ll all be celebrating together around the throne.  And in the mean time.....
I won’t spend too much time worrying about the things you’re missing.