Twenty-twelve

We are now in the last hours of 2012.
I won't be sorry to see the ball drop and a new year ushered in. 2012 has been a year of change, of incredible lows and of new normals. It has also been a year of truly learning the meaning of 2nd Corinthians 12:9 "And HE said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
Five days into the new year I found myself unemployed for the first time in thirty-four years. I was numb, frightened and angry. I cried out to GOD " Why, did YOU allow this to happen?" I had been in banking since I was 19 years old and continued to advance. I had climbed the corporate ladder while trying to keep my principals high and my eyes on GOD. Now within the course of a couple of days it was gone. Why GOD,why?
My FATHER allowed me to cry and question HIM and even doubt HIS goodness (but only for a moment) while all the time whispering "Trust ME. MY grace is surely sufficient for you." So, although I still didn't understand... I trusted HIM, who held all of my tomorrow's.
As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months I realized how mentally and physically exhausted I had been. I started to recognize the toll that the past year had taken on me. And so I rested, not knowing my greatest test was just ahead.
On May 3rd my mother called to ask if I could take her to the doctor as she had been fighting a respiratory problem for the past few weeks. When we got to the doctor they were shocked to find her oxygen in the upper 70's and insisted on admitting her to the hospital immediately. So began "The Hardest Time of All". Mom would be in the hospital (with a couple of short but blessed reprieves) until the end of August.
Because I was unemployed during this time ( remember my FATHER asking me to trust HIM? ) I was able to be by her side throughout throughout those four months.
They were months filled with pain and fear but also with more laughter then you could imagine. As our beloved Mama Charley taught us her last lesson. That death is simply part of the journey. We gathered around her bed as a family, each with our own memories. We laughed until we thought they might kick us out, we listened to each of her grandchildren tell her of the impact she had had on their lives and how they were the people they were today because of her influence. Mike, Cindy, Larry, Lesa and I remembered the good times, laughed with each other, held each other up and gained strength from the strong family chords that were forged so many years ago.
It was the best of times and the worst of times and on August 30th we said our earthly goodbye to that incredible woman. Her Homegoing was a celebration of a life lived for GOD and we can only imagine the celebration that was going on in Heaven as they welcomed Mama Charley home.
And just as HE promised GOD provided a job for me which started the end of August ( check HIS timing ) with the school system. No stress! No unreachable goals! No politics! A job with committed Christians in a low income school with no limits to the prayer needs. A mission field as much as any place in Africa would be. I am so thankful for this opportunity.
But then in September I began having the same symptoms mom had experienced. Low oxygen, persistent cough, no energy, etc. as I saw one doctor after another they all assured us that it had nothing to do with mom (as they ordered the exact same tests to be run as she had). My mind wanted to fear but my FATHER said "Trust ME. MY grace is surely sufficient for you." On December 12th I had an open lung biopsy (just like mom had) but after a few days in the hospital and a few sleepless nights we got the results from Mayo Clinic. Rheumatoid Arthritis....causing inflammation in the lungs. Bizarre diagnosis, totally unexpected, not a good thing but very treatable and so much better then it could have been.
And all the time my ABBA FATHER keeps whispering "Trust ME. MY grace is surely sufficient for you. No matter what you face I've already made a way for you and I will be holding your hand the whole way."
So while I'm not sorry to say goodbye to 2012, it has been a time of learning and growing and I'm stronger and have a closer walk with my FATHER because of it.
Before we welcome the new year I've got to say thank you to three of the people who GOD used so powerfully this past year.
To Larry, my rock. You remained by my side throughout. Because of your strength I was able to stand. Because I had you, I was able to say a temporary goodbye to Mama Charley. Because of your faith, my faith stood. My heart will always be yours, babe.
Mike, my big brother. The hero of my childhood. This past year has brought us closer then we could ever have been during "easy times". We've leaned on each other, made decisions that were impossible to make, laughted and cried together and never once had a cross word. You're an amazing man.
And Lesa, my sister-cousin. For 54 years ( hey, I can still say that for a few more hours) you have been my sister and the dearest friend GOD could ever have blessed me with. We have shared more laughter and tears then either one of us could have imagined. You have made me laugh when I was low and gently (yeah right) lifted me up when I was down. I couldn't have made it through the year without you. Simply said, I love you.
So now.... We have a brand new year stretching out in front of us. Nobody knows what it will hold. I can promise you there will be highs and lows, laughter and tears, hello's and goodbyes but it you listen real close you'll hear the FATHER whisper Trust ME, MY child. MY grace is surely sufficient for you."