...for I am the LORD that healeth thee. (Exodus 15:26)
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all HIS benefits: Who forgiveth thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases. (Psalm 103:2-3)
HE sent HIS Word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. (Psalm 107:20)
But HE was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with HIS stripes we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)
The Ordeal
Since the beginning of October I have found myself facing physical challenges like I have never faced before. It started with a cough that wouldn’t go away and an overall fatigue that I didn’t know was possible to feel. The cough became so bad that I began having severe, stabbing pains in my back which sent me to Urgent Care one afternoon right after having lunch with my two favorite guys (my husband and my brother) afterall, you never know how long they’ll make you go without eating!! While at Urgent Care they discovered my blood work was a little off (specifically, the one indicating a possible blood clot). No problem, there are tests they can run for that....however, the test requires a rather large IV...still no problem, I had my big girl pants on and was okay with that...I bravely offered them my left arm harboring my ONLY good IV vein. No, they wanted my right arm (to keep the doctor from having to make the six steps to the other side of the table). I explained to them that they wouldn’t find a vein in my right arm but they assured my that “of course we can, we do this every day!!” Yeah right!! Because my back was hurting so badly and I could see that I wasn’t going to get pain meds until they ran this test I closed my eyes and stuck out my right arm. And the “expert” that did this “every day” poked and poked and poked until finally giving up (thank GOD) and calling her supervisor who “can slip an IV in without you ever knowing it”! Yeah right!!
So, Nurse IV came in and poked and poked and poked and all of a sudden the room started getting grayer and darker until the next thing I knew I woke up with a cold cloth on my forehead, oxygen on and a doctor with a very worried expression on his face.
Apparently, I had passed out and my oxygen had dropped to a rather unhealthy number.
And since I was such a blood clot risk....(seriously... let them poke you a dozen times looking for the vein that you had already told them WASN’T there and see how long you remain conscience!!) anyway, they had called an ambulance to rush me to the hospital. (Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous! I just need pain meds for my back!!) But within three minutes the EMT’s were there with a gurney offering me my very first ambulance ride but without lights and sirens (and yes, I did ask) So the two fourteen year old EMT’s loaded me up with my oxygen, and monitor and oh, by the way, they had to do an EKG just in case I would go into heart failure on the two and a half minute ride to the hospital) Well, all I can say about the ambulance ride is it’s the only way to go to the Emergency room. Those young EMT’s whizzed me right past all the germs flying around in the overcrowded ER and straight back to the exam room. Where they were already waiting for me. Ready to do the test that would then allow them to give me PAIN MEDS for my back! So they began to tell me about the test and how they needed to insert a rather large IV. Okay fine, here is my LEFT arm with my ONLY good vein. Oh no ma’am, we need to use your right arm (Beam me up, Scotty!!!) but not to worry, we use an Ultrasound machine to locate the vein and them we just slip it right in.(Where have I heard this before?) Just as I was about to loose control my husband who had experienced this entire ordeal with me, told the nurse that I was in terrible pain and couldn’t they give me something?.... Well, of course we can!!! We’ll get you a shot right now and as soon as it begins to wear off we’ll give you another one!! (Where had this woman been for the past four hours??) I’m not sure what she gave me but all of a sudden I was on a one-way, ultra fast trip to my happy place! I no longer cared how many times they poked and prodded or that after they got the IV in (thanks to the magic ultrasound machine) and started the test they blew the vein and had to start all over again (Opps). However, I did rouse enough to tell them YES, I would have a big problem with them putting the IV in the juggler vein in my neck!!!
By this time we had our little room packed with family and friends there to oversee my care.... (thank you Larry and Lesa)
To worry (thank you Mike and Cindy)
To make me laugh....(thank you Garrett and Lesa and John)
To pray....(thank you Mike V and Linda and Danny)
And finally, the test was done and no blood clots found so they gave me one last “happy shot”, a prescription and instructions to see a specialist and sent me home.
From that episode to today, I have seen three doctors, had a bronchoscopy, a breathing function test and an open lung biopsy. I have been told that I have Bronchitis, Acid Reflux, Pulmonary Vasculitis and got the final word from Mayo Clinic (the Holy Grail of Medicine, right?) that the problem was ....Rheumatoid Arthritis. (Are you serious??RA causing coughing? Yep, according to Mayo that was the problem) So, I see a Rheumatoligist who of course wants to run her own tests. Results? RA test came back COMPLETELY NORMAL!! She knows it’s autoimmune but will need to do some testing to figure out what we’re dealing with!! Can we say, back to square one??
I decided I was through with the medical establishment. With the exception of my favorite doctor, Dr. LL Haase (graduate of the University of WebMD!!) who gave me the following advice:
- “Loose the grapefruit juice. Really, just humor me!”
- “Keep a food diary.
- “Take the steroids and don’t look back”
- “Stay in the hospital as long as you can. That’s where they keep the good drugs!!”
- “Get a new doctor!!”
I went to GOD in my total confusion and frustration and said “Why, GOD?” “Why has this been such an ordeal?” “Why can’t they find out what is wrong with me?” As HE always does HE let me vent and question and complain and then HE washed me in HIS peace. I felt HIS love blanket me and realized that I had been putting my faith in doctors (and yes, GOD uses doctors in a mighty way) instead of in my HEALER. I was looking to them for answers rather then the ONE who promised to heal all my infirmities. My ABBA FATHER gently asked me why it was so easy for me to believe HIM for my salvation but so difficult to believe HIM for my physical healing. HE has my life in the palm of HIS hand. HE is in control and HE is on the throne. HE is my GOD, my FATHER, my TEACHER, my FRIEND and my HEALER. What do I have to fear. If HE chooses to HE can heal me with a word, or HE can heal me through the medical field (a bit more challenging!! :) ) or HE can simply give me the grace to live with it. Whatever, HE chooses as long as HE is holding my hand... I’m gonna be fine!
But unto you that fear MY name shall the sun of righteousness arise with healing i it’s wings. Malachi 4:2
