Dear Mama~
It would have been nice if I had thought to start writing you letters when you first came into the hospital a little over two weeks ago but hey, better late than never!
I know when you get better you’ll want to know all about what went on while you were out so I’ll give it a shot and try to keep you updated. A word of warning....it’s going to be random as I think of things.
You came into the hospital two weeks ago yesterday with what we (and the doctors believed to be pneumonia in your left lung but when after several days of antibiotics you were worse they suspected it was something else so decided to do an open lung biopsy which is probably the last thing you remember so I’ll pick up there.
I’m sitting in your darkened ICU room listening to the whir of the respirator that for now is keeping your lungs working. It’s quiet and in a strange way peaceful right now. I have praise music playing softly (since I know you would prefer Willie’s version of Amazing Grace rather than Chris Tomlin’s!!) and I feel GOD’s presence all around us. I’ve been thinking about all the things that I’d like to tell you about the past couple of weeks.
Let’s start with your nurses...they have been awesome. Such loving, caring people. There was Tracie with the bouncy ponytail and chatty personality (you would love her). Carol, who I thought at first was cold and uncaring until I saw the tears in her eyes as she shared a less then great report from one of your tests. And then sweet Rose with the beautiful smile who told me she prayed as she cared for you...she always give me a big hug when I would leave at night and tell me she was watching over you for me and somehow, I knew she was.
Now the doctors were another story....Your pulmonary doctor, Dr. Woman Hater who told me I was tired and sleep deprived and wasn’t thinking clearly simply because I questioned him (He didn’t like being questioned by one of the weaker sex)....I would have had him fired had Mike not arrived just in the nick of time to be the “voice of reason” (“He’s seen mom all week”, “He won’t be on duty next week”, “You don’t have to deal with him”). Wish you could have heard the family conference with Mike and I and Dr. Woman Hater...Mike did some fancy steps keeping himself positioned between me and Dr. WH. Fortunately, he knew his little sister a bit better then the good doc did and therefore made it a point to be present for the remainder of his visits!
And speaking of Mikey being here...(I told you this would be random) He has overcome his hospital phobia...well, almost. We almost lost him the night Lesa decided to “tidy up” the waiting room. As she was folding blankets, arranging pillows and racking up crumbs with her bare hands, Mike was getting greener and greener. He said later he wouldn’t have touched those things without a gown, gloves and surgical mask on!!
Then there was the afternoon he told me he had a confession...he ate my Cheetos. But then he went down to the cafeteria and bought me a new bag....but then he got hungry and ate that one too so he still owes me a bag of Cheetos!
He and I have sat together, keeping watch over our beloved Mama Charley and I’ve been reminded over and over how blessed I am to have my big brother.
And when I think of being blessed (it just gets more and more random) I could not have made it through these last several days without Larry’s love and strength. I could be with you day after day and night after night because I had him to come home to. His prayers and faith have held you and I both up.
Then today I watched as your grandchildren came in and I couldn’t help thinking how unique they are and what a special relationship you have with each one. Brad came in and after telling you that he was going out for dinner and that he’d sneak you in something...I laughingly told him that I didn’t think they would allow it and without missing a beat he leaned down and grinned at you with those blue eyes twinkling and said “Yeah, but Charley, we’ve never let a few rules get in our way, have we?” and I swear, you grinned at him!
Then as you were doing your breathing trial and becoming a bit anxious Adam pulled his chair close to your bed, took your hand and said “Grandma, let me tell you about what’s been happening in my life” and I listened as he shared his adventures with you and your heartbeat slowed down and you relaxed as you listened to your maverick man.
Then there was sweet Blair, our very own Mother Earth. She leaned over and whispered what an amazing woman you were and how much she loved you and again, I saw you smile.
There have been so many times in the past two weeks that your ICU room has felt like a temple. Like late one night when I was allowing myself to have a meltdown and a dear friend texted me these words “Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning. Weeping only lasts for the night. The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight.” How could she have known she had just sent me the words of one of your favorite songs?
How many times has your hospital bed become an alter with prayers being lifted to the FATHER on your behalf. So many lives that have been touched by your love and changed because of the life you’ve lived have come to minister to you and to your family. So many stories have been shared about your strength, and your spunk and your sense of humor. About your laughter and the wisdom you’ve shared.
You are a strong, amazing woman and you are going to beat this thing. As I’ve told you “this ain’t no hill for a climber!!” We all have stories to share with you...but what I’m really looking forward to are the stories you have to share with us. I know you’ve been in a place that few of us have been to and probably seen things few of us have seen. There have been times in these past days that you have had such a faraway look in your eyes.... I can’t wait listen to your stories.
It’s late and I’m going to close for now. Tomorrow will be a good day!
I love you, mama!!
