Hard to imagine that at age 54 I could be starting a brand new chapter in my life.
For the first time in over thirty years I find myself among the ranks of the unemployed. I still haven't gotten my mind wrapped around this but I have come to believe that regardless of how it all happened, GOD had a plan! For the past ten...twelve (can't remember the year) years I have prayed for more of HIM. For a closer, deeper relationship with HIM. And HE has answered that prayer beyond my wildest dreams. HE has given me a hunger for HIS Word and a desire (and possibly even a gift) for sharing it with others.
But as so often happens...I began to take the gift for granted. I began to lose the fire within me. Life began to crowd in and JESUS got pushed aside. Oh, not completely...I still managed to keep a week or so ahead of the class I was teaching (usually) but the joy was gone. The anticipation in spending time with HIM, the Creator of all had been downgraded to simply another chore on my ever growing list of "important" things to do. The sweet time of sitting at the feet of my FATHER had become a time of clock watching so that I wouldn't be late for the next duty on the list.
I knew it was happening...I even recognized it for what it was, an attack from the enemy on the most important thing I had, my spiritual life. I prayed and prayed and prayed for GOD to stir up the hunger once again. Bring me back to that place of fellowship we shared. Be my teacher again.
GOD in HIS infinite love and mercy (and a touch of that supernatural sense of humor) put me in a position where I have full days open and no excuses. I heard HIM whisper to me "I'm here waiting but I won't take second place! Not to a person, not to a thing and certainly not to a "To Do List" of things that you in your infinite wisdom (I think I understand a little of what Job felt when GOD asked "Where were you when...?") find so important.
So, I have thrown away the To Do List. I have grabbed on to HIS outstretched hand and I have promised HIM the best of my days not the leftover minutes. My time with HIM is my top priority. He will be my tutor, my teacher and my guide. The fire is burning again and I can't wait to see what HE has planned for this chapter in my life.
If GOD be for us, who can be against us. Romans 8:3
Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace to help us in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
